Why I eat.....Part 3

I am A ROLE MODEL

I am looked up to be those who are younger then me. Which sucks due to my lack in the general things in life. I just see all my screw up in a line waiting for the Little ones to pick at them, repeat them and then me get the blame. The pressure of the possible fail. Like a cave that's weak from over the years waiting to cave in. As everyone trapped in my possible fail , screaming and ultimately feeling disappointed.

What is worst the disappointing people you care about? Then letting down the very people who helped build you up and believed in you. Just the thought makes my stomach to twists. What is worse then influencing the children in irreparable ways? I don't want to be the reason people lose faith. I don't want to do to them what he did to me :/. I refuse.

Please take me down from the place up high that you have put me. Don't let me fall from here because if I do I am sure it will hurt me and the others. I don't want to hurt. I don't want you to hurt. It is only human-ness that has me faltering. It has me losing passions thus failing you, without you knowing, yet I can still feel your eyes bore holes in my back as the fill with sad tears.

Forgive my humanity. Forgive my problems. Forgive my inner turmoil. Forgive My imperfections. Take me off the high pedestal and place me with you. So I may roam to make my mistakes. To cry my tears. To throw my fits. To scrape my knees. To fall in and out of love‼ To break ♥s and have my ♥ broken.

I am a slave to what you see me as.