The past two days ♥

Idk what to write but I can sum up Friday and today like this: I have not been this happy, this free, this amazingly joyous in forever... ♥

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I don't think about him anymore. He can no longer hurt me =]

Contacts.

#1 Mah baybee ♥
# 2 Oxy Cotton tail
# 3 Mah Little sistah

Just based off reading that, you should know my life is better then yours.....=D
I adore mah contacts.....RANDOM BLOG!!!!! =]

Number ten

I am scared to let you in completely.

My family ♥

I adore my family ♥, every single member. =] (Googie real name Elvis is not in the picture.) I am very happy and blessed to finally have the big family I always wanted. They do get on my nerves and drive me crazy but I am still very happy. They kept me joyous (before my love came along.) and they still do. So I wanted many "many" readers to know that I am love all eight member of my family and all four in Florida. (and all extended family members)

I Love my best friend.

Three years & still going. We have been through hell and back and it only made us stronger. I am glad to have you as my best friend. You are strong, smart, beautiful, funny, silly, creative, wonderful and a billion other awesome things. ♥ I am very happy to be in your life and that you are in mine. I am so so happy that you are finally happy, like you deserve. You my lovely are so awesome ^_^ .......and we will be friends forever.......because I promised....and its a pleasure.......=] ............☺☺☻♥☻ & you are the family I choose and I am happy to kept you as my partner in crime. We loves are men but there is nothing like a good female friend.

I love my big sister ♥

Number nine.

I still miss you, only now its in brief painful flashes. I love you grandpa ♥, but life can't love death.

NumberEight. 8 =]

I never really, truly, pictured my life with anyone before you.

Overflow.

I can't seem to stop writing. I can't seem to stop the words about you to stop spilling from my fingers tips. They are flowing for me like tears from a emo. I can't stop you from inspiring who I am. I am letting you become a huge part of me. You, damn you. I never thought I would be here. Never thought that I would be scribbling names in my notebook again. I never thought I would be sending off the I am so in love vibes everywhere I go. I let that all go, maybe it is true, when you stop looking, love finds you. I now have you ♥. Have I told you how beautiful you are today, how special you are. I have I mentioned how talented you are, how soft your lips are, how sweet you smell. Did I say thank you for driving me to school today. OR how I appreciate the fact that you provided for me to get home. Did I mention how amazing you smile is? Or how much I love how real with me you are? Well if I haven't here I am telling you what you mean to mean ......again lol

♪Cause you're amazing just the way you are.♫

Number seven.

Four days before you asked me to the movies I was still crying over him.

All in her Head.

His hands are wrapped around her, the water is dripping and her eyes are closed. Every cell in her body is humming. She can feel every breath he takes, every beat his hearts make. She has never felt so close to one person in her life. All that matters is you. She can take on the world if she has you. When you are by her side she is a better her. She never thinks those cruels and sometimes evil thoughts that can cluttered her head. NO, you make her the person she used to be, the person she buried under years of crap and disappointment. So even though you are naked pressed close against her body, she only feels one thing. LOVE. A love so intense it overwhelms her. She can't help but feel the need to become one with you. IN every way possible. Not just emotional, but physically and spiritually too. They try to tell her its lust, but its not. It is a need. A passionate intense feeling to become completely one with you. She wants to be everything for you. Your girl, your best friend, your lover, your wife, your home boy, she wants to be it all for you and more. Because she loves you and she can't say it enough. She touches you, her hands sliding down your wet back, the feeling is electrifying. Its sends sparks of passion into her spine and shots of love into her veins. She has never been this close to anyone. Just you. & only you because you are her it, the one, her knight in shining armor, her blue eyed soul, her other half, the yin to her yang, you complete her. No she wasn't broke before, no now she is just more whole. You kiss her and say I love you and she says I love you too, and even though she has said it to other boys before, she has never ever meant it like she does now. She lets the passion take over losing track off time while the temperature of the water builds till its to hot to handle. With every second you are with her, she keeps thinking I love you, and if its takes forever to prove it, well she is willing to put in the time.

Cause not everything is all in her head. ♥

♥10202010♥

Desire (& not the street car.)

I feel it surge through my body, the need to be touched by you. The urge to have you explore my body with your hands, sends waves to my brain that stops all rational thinking. My thoughts start forming in pictures. Your hands, my thighs. Your tongue, my neck. Your lips, my shoulder blades. Your belt, my button. Your shirt, my pants. STOP. I shake my head clear the clouds that are forming. I have to stop your touch form making me hazy. But your hand trailing down my back and my body on alert. Hyper sensitive to your touch, my body arcing closer to you because I can't get enough. You breath and my lungs try to match your rhythm. I shiver with anticipation with each kiss. My body reacting before my mind catches up. I try to stop myself but I have forgotten how to think straight. My goal becomes you, on top of me, under me, in me. I can't stop the desire in flows in my veins quicken my heartbeat. I can see us entangled in the bedsheets. My body reaching the highest peak. You causing me to sing your name like the highest praises. My toes curled, my hands grabbing what they can find, me and you have been all the way and beyond in my mind. I smile and kiss you and try to clear my mind because if I keep going like this I be mind fucking you all the time.

A new kind of Calm.

I see you and the world makes more sense then when you were gone. You walk closer and my world becomes you. I feel calm, like all my worries have silenced and the world is a beautiful place. You are my little escape form the world far better then books and sweet then movies. I can sink into you and lose myself without losing myself. I know that when I need you, that you will be there and that only makes life that much sweeter. You, oh how I love you. How easily I let my feet sink into the comfort of your loves. How almost instantly I let my body mold into yours. You just know, at least that's what they say& I know that you are for me. You are the other pea in mah pod (Lilith is of course in mah pod♥). Sweet kisses, the way you skin feels against mine, ahhhh I am falling for you at rapid paces & every time I feel like I can fall no more, I fall deeper. I feel a new kind a calm with you. & I am comfortable in our beginning of forever.

Dangerously in Love ♥.

I am sitting with you on the phone, you are asleep. Yet I sit headphones in my ears and let you hear what I am doing, dictating everything just so I can pretend that you are here. I like the thought of always having you with me =]. I can't believe what I feel for you its crazy. With you I don't feel the need to control everything because you are MAN ENOUGH to take control of it. I don't have to dumb myself down for you or pretend to be someone I am not. With you its all me, Stephanie. I don't even have to think about the answer to the question "Do you trust me?" because I do. Even though I get scared sometimes, I brush it off, I refuse to let my fear keep me from loving you and giving you a real chance. YOU, you do shit to me I can't explain, I am acting differently and you, you could mean the world to me ♥. I could give you everything & more. Walk the world for you just to get you what you need. I am crazy. I got of be. How else would I be willing to give you all of me. I thought I learned my lessons but you got me acting like all of this is new to me. I look at the pictures of the one who tortured me and it doesn't even hurt anymore because you seemed to have healed me.You make me want to breath in your scent the way I breath in air....I want to live off it. You make me feel like I am free flying from the sky and I feel so alive. Its crazy how much you already mean to me and it can only get deeper. This is real. Fuck a prince charming I got mez a lyricist. He is a prince of words and me tangled in his lyrics and caught rhythm of his soul. Its to late ...I Love You♥ I can't say it any other way. I can show it in a million ways and still feel like its not enough. When you walk away I miss you, I count the seconds till I see you again. Baybee....ahhh I love the way you look at me, making it seem like I am the most important person in the world. God, I can't stop thinking about you. I love having you near, your body heat chasing the cold away. I am Ursa Major's girl & I will say that with pride because there are girl out there willing to kill to be at your side. Let me just say this baby, I will wait forever and a day as long as that time is spent with you ♥

♥

I could feel it, the emotion(for lack of a better word) seep from your lips into mine. .....Ahh I can't think straight he said he loves me ♥

Terrfied.

My knees shake, my heart pounds and I can't help but feel afraid. I count the seconds you are with me, hoping that you won't turn and walk away. That you won't think WTF? I am doing here. I look in your eyes hoping that they will tell me what your lips don't say. I feel myself faltering, instinct trying to pull me back. "Stay safe!" My head shouts, I chose to ignore it and trudge forward. I am doing the right thing...right???? NO stop don't do this.........not again. DOn't make him pay for someone elses mistakes.....GOD HELP ME

Kinda Beautiful.

I think its kinda beautiful how our skin tones live in the opposite ends of the color spectrum. The way your makes mine seem that much lighter. I think its kinda beautiful that a hour with you brings back the words that eluded me for months. The way you lift a block that had my pages blank for such a long time that I forgot what the ink looks like against pages. I think its kinda beautiful how you can see me clearly yet I can hide the simplest fact. I am crazy but its kinda beautiful. I think its kinda beautiful that with you I can always keep it real with you. I think its kinda beautiful that I can listen to your words for hours and never grow sick of hearing about your Storm Watch. I can spend days away from you and I would miss the rhythm of your natural speech. I think its kinda beautiful how you can't hang up the phone at night so you just wait till I fall to sleep. I think its kinda beautiful, the silent emotion that fills my chest when you are near. I think its kinda beautiful. Problem is I can never really know what you really think, but I guess thats kinda beautiful too.

Ursa Major.........with twist of Poison

Shifting Gears


He said: driving
No destination, just an open road
empty, all alone, but still more crowded than I'm hopin for
enough gas to leave the past behind
and a fresh a pair of glasses to block the sunshine




cruising
my mood requires soothing music
just enough emotion to remind me that I'm human
my soul is tinted, but still light enough to see through it
top down, so are my windows
just enough so I can feel the wind blow

speeding
accelerating just cause I'm impatient
switching lanes like I'm in your favorite racing game
tires roll, smooth over paved roads
but I ain't hands free, I'm texting from my new phone

live and learn how to handle curves
can't help but wonder if I could handle yours
I notice the only thing my car is missing is a passenger
are you the exit I been waiting for?

I'm tryin to reach you from the fast lane
but by the time I get there, might be too late.
Its hard to slow down on this highway
so I'm trying to pump brakes

too fast, but I can't brake.
I'm gonna crashland, but I can't brake
no belt to keep me safe
I.
can't.
Stop.
I.
Can't.
Brake







Her response:



Shifting Priorities


I am walking away from society
Tried of everyone lying to me
but then something caught my eye
A boy who was passing by
A sweet smile on his lips
I just lost my grip

*breath*

My feet are moving towards where he stands
I can't control it like the sweating in my hands
I can smell him, like a hunter smells its prey
But I feel more like the victim that anything , yet I walk towards him anyway
I am scared

I am transfixed in the glory of his light
Like a deer stuck in headlights
I am breathing in his air
and I can't let myself care
I am terrified

I am dizzy,is he what I am searching for?
The king to my castle
Is he the one who can stop my downward spiral?
Has he come to save me?
I feel hope

I am staring at him watching him speak to me
The way he lips move have me getting dizzy
I am paralyzed by the hope he let sink in
I can't let this boy change what has begin
I am crazy

I need him to stop.
I stop looking at me like that.
Stop.
Please.
Stop.
I.
Can't.
Fall.

#6

Crazier things have happened but it seems I can't stand my ground. I think I just might be falling & its you who made me slip.

He. Part 2.

He reminds me of words. The way the seep into my pores like the rays of sun on a summer day. He reminds me of rhythm. The way it moves you without you even knowing. He reminds me of music. The way its an inspirtion to the things I do . He reminds me the wind. The way it softly caresses and cools my sweaty skin. I can't seem to fight the urge to smile around him. I let my guard down around him. Its like standing naked on a stage with your legs frozen so you can't move. With one smile he melted the the ice around my heart and opened my eyes. I had almost forgotten the beatuy in a sunrise. He reminds me that its okay to feel. Now I do, and I feel for him. Swarms of angry bees attack my stomach when I see him draw near. One look at him and I forget my fear. All I can think about is how good it feels to be with him. Even if he is only mine for a mintue. I want to freeze time just to stay with him longer. For once don't be so strong let him see the you that you once forgot how to be. He reminds me of who I am.