Just thinking

I miss you more then you will ever know, 

More then I will ever be able to describe 

#185

On days like this I relive our break up. It dawns me all over again that you aren't mine. I still remember how excited I was to see you. But I knew, somewhere in my I knew. I review that way we were on days like this and I look for what could have been different.

I wish I could enter the time stream and change it so that we'd never end.

Don't get me wrong I am content in life, I am just feeling like its missing you. I fight back tears looking at calendar days without you. How can so much time not make a dent in what I feel for you. Its strange, usually I am so done while with the person. Haha, but now I am still invested in you. You who wasn't even my type. Who I didn't glimpse at for nearly two years. The boy whose name I couldn't remember.

Somehow you ended up being everything. You went from a nobody to the love of my life in less then a year. I am amazed at the effect you have had on me. I can't even wish we have never met because that makes my heart ache ten times more. But damn I gotta say it, I love you, I love you, I love you.

But sometimes I wish I didn't.

#184

I am more in love with you now then when we were together.

# 183

I read an old blog about how scarred I was to lose you. The truth is even though you are gone... I am still terrified.

I've grown to hate the place I love. I believe the reason is you.