This blog is a piece of its writer. A peek into a mind that can't be read. A glimpse into a story never told. A beauty like no other. Indulge in the words of a young girl who write to spill the contents of the baggage that once burdened her.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Why I eat .......Part 11 (Horrid. Just horrid.)
Today something happened, a man beat his "girlfriend" and his baby. Out of the two, its only the baby I care about. When I briefly held her in my arms I felt her fear and pain. Those unfit nutcases of parents don't deserve her. That sweet gift given to them by god. I want to cry for that baby. This toxic environment she didn't choose to be in. My mom took her from the shouting death match that when on upstairs. The father said "The baby is on the floor." I could hear her screaming and crying. Why was the baby on the floor? Was he some sick fuck trying to hurt her? Trying to touch her in ways he shouldn't? And that baby's mother,, will she be a dumb fuck and take that asshole of a father back into her life. Still I am only caring about that baby. I was reluctant to give her to her mother. Will she take the baby to the doctor like she should? Will she make sure her baby is okay? or will she ignore it and worry about how to get that scum of a man back? I feel horrid like I didn't do enough, I keep praying but I want to do more. That innocent helpless beautiful baby girl. Just thinking about her in danger makes me cry.
This world can be such a horrid crule place and thats because PEOPLE make it that way. With their sick ass minds and there evil and hurtful ways. Sometimes I wonder how I deal day to day with that knowledge, I don't. I read, I write, I hide from it all.
Fact 3:I want to help people, help the world, I don't know how but I do. I want to save someone's life.
Did my mother save that baby's life? I would say yes, only god knows what would happened if my mother didn't have the balls to go upstairs. This is why I love and admire her, no one in the world is a greater more selfless person in the world that is why she is my hero. Would I have done that same? I like to think so but either way I am still worried about that sweet baby girl.
{shock, yeah thats what I feel}
This world can be such a horrid crule place and thats because PEOPLE make it that way. With their sick ass minds and there evil and hurtful ways. Sometimes I wonder how I deal day to day with that knowledge, I don't. I read, I write, I hide from it all.
Fact 3:I want to help people, help the world, I don't know how but I do. I want to save someone's life.
Did my mother save that baby's life? I would say yes, only god knows what would happened if my mother didn't have the balls to go upstairs. This is why I love and admire her, no one in the world is a greater more selfless person in the world that is why she is my hero. Would I have done that same? I like to think so but either way I am still worried about that sweet baby girl.
{shock, yeah thats what I feel}
Monday, June 14, 2010
The words only eyes have spoken
Fact 2: (make up for sunday)
She reminds me of Barbie dolls sometimes when she smiles. Little by little the paint chipping off her fake smiles. Her eyes doorways to the soul which is broken, scared , bent yet strong. Sometimes it painfully to look at her. I hate the sadness there and how I feel helpless to do anything about it. She and I seem bounded, like our souls are intertwined in ways we don't understand. She contains a power to hurt me because her words matter. Though they shouldn't they do. She is me and i am her though we appear as two separate beings, we are one in the same. WE are the odd couple of modern times only our theme song would be more off kilter. I don't think about her mortality because I don't what would happen to me if I lost her. Though many have come before her I have never loved any as I have her. Weird huh? (no homo homie). So in my eyes we roam the world as immortals with a taste for being that much different.
Fact 3:
Ice box. I have never related to a song more in my life. My urges to kiss be held or so much as looked at by another has plummeted to only rare and brief moments. "I have an ice box where my heart used to be." hmmm guess so?
She reminds me of Barbie dolls sometimes when she smiles. Little by little the paint chipping off her fake smiles. Her eyes doorways to the soul which is broken, scared , bent yet strong. Sometimes it painfully to look at her. I hate the sadness there and how I feel helpless to do anything about it. She and I seem bounded, like our souls are intertwined in ways we don't understand. She contains a power to hurt me because her words matter. Though they shouldn't they do. She is me and i am her though we appear as two separate beings, we are one in the same. WE are the odd couple of modern times only our theme song would be more off kilter. I don't think about her mortality because I don't what would happen to me if I lost her. Though many have come before her I have never loved any as I have her. Weird huh? (no homo homie). So in my eyes we roam the world as immortals with a taste for being that much different.
Fact 3:
Ice box. I have never related to a song more in my life. My urges to kiss be held or so much as looked at by another has plummeted to only rare and brief moments. "I have an ice box where my heart used to be." hmmm guess so?
Friday, June 11, 2010
>> Oxy's idea
Following my best friend's lead...
fact one: I don't think I will ever be able to ....... see men the same after him >> he ruined life for meh...blah =D
fact one: I don't think I will ever be able to ....... see men the same after him >> he ruined life for meh...blah =D
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I woke up
I woke up with that feeling again....I can't seem to shake the thoughts of you......and all it does is pisses me off and makes me sad
I finally went on a coaster ^^
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