Why I eat....Part 4

I still dream of you.

I opened my eyes this morning and struggled to shake off the images of your face. I could still feel the tingle of your lips pressed against my ears as you whispers 'I want you.' Now I am pissed ,how dare you invade my dream! The one place I can truly escape all thoughts of you. How dare you intrude on my world! Why Is my thoughts still filled with you? Defeated I drag myself out of bed and you still linger. You presence is like a perfume that had just been sprayed in the room and fills it with sweet scents, My heart swells, I miss you. I been avoiding so I wouldn't have to feel this. I am pissed, fuming and hurting.

Why can't I be the one you love? The simple question sends daggers to my heart. Ugh. You are truly my moo-sick, forever flowing through me yet never truly mines. I drift away from thoughts of you to spare myself. Why did we have to taint our friendship with silly unspoken feelings? Neither of us speak of them yet they linger in the air. I know you feel it that's why we been avoiding talking and avoid alone time. That is why you bring it up. Bring her up every time you see me. Trust my dear I won't forget that she exists or that she has what I can only dream of obtaining.

Let me make one point clear, oh dear one, I do love you, more then words can ever express. More then I have ever loved him. But I can forget you, all I need is a new set of arms to hold me and to make me truly fall and I will be fine. At least I hope can forget you. I will be able to shake of these dreams that seem like nightmares when I wake, because when I wake you are never there. I know you know how I feel, that is what makes it hurt more. At least acknowledge it, say you just want to be friends, say you feel the same, say something anything.

I hate not knowing where I stand. Not having the necessary knowledge to help me move on is killing me. So please say that words that may free me. I don't know how you created this cage from your perfected flaws that has trapped me but you hold the keys that can set me free.

Save me from loving you till I fade.