Why I eat ......Part 9

Because I lost him.

I look up and the sky is the perfect color to match his eyes today. The eyes I once gazed in. The best friend who once drew me near and was always there. I had to fight back tears. Oh, how I miss you. When I lost you a huge part of me went to. That summer when it was us, it was the best summer. I was 14 and eager to learn and you would teach me. We were so different then you and I. You were the rocker and me the pop princess. If you could see how I have changed you would love it. I went from pink to red. From pop to rock. From naive to living with my eyes wide open.


Eddie, my heart still breaks over the lose of you. I still wear the ring you gave me. Pshh you are the only boy whose ring I still wear. I am so sorry. I miss our easy friendship, sitting on the stoop of your crappy apartment on those lazy Summer days while Willie and Juan tossed the football back and forth. How we would just sit and talk about the most pointless things, hour long discussions of batman and flash. Things that made the world an easier place to live in.

You are the reason I love Moo-sick. Its cause he reminds me of you. Our friendship is ALMOST a mirror of mine with you. That's why I speak to Jay, his kindness and love of music reminds me of you. That why I don't want to hurt him, because it will remind me of how I hurt you. Your face will flash after I spoke the words I can never take back. I wonder if I made you bitter.

Oh dear, how I messed up when it came to you. I wish I could take it back. If I changed you for the better the I won't take it back. I just wish to know that you are well. Just to know that I haven't destroyed who you were. Only then can I forgive myself.

I miss you .